No fluff. No excuses. Just results — and a lot of abuse.
The fitness app that calls you out, swears at you, and refuses to accept your excuses. With a Scottish drill sergeant voice coach who has absolutely zero patience for your nonsense.
MOVE YOUR ARSE•NO EXCUSES•MY DEAD GRAN MOVES FASTER•STOP WHINING•BRUTAL FITNESS DONE RIGHT•JUST RESULTS•MOVE YOUR ARSE••NO EXCUSES•MY DEAD GRAN MOVES FASTER•STOP WHINING•BRUTAL FITNESS DONE RIGHT•JUST RESULTS•
27
Workout Sessions
3
Levels of Suffering
0
Participation Trophies
∞
Excuses Rejected
What you get
EVERYTHING YOU NEED. NOTHING YOU DON'T.
💪
BRUTAL WORKOUTS
15, 30 and 35 minute HIIT sessions across beginner, intermediate and advanced levels. Zero equipment. Can be done absolutely anywhere.
— Your new drill sergeant. Whether you like it or not.
The App
LOOKS GOOD. HURTS MORE.
Clean. Dark. Brutal. Built to be used in the middle of a workout when you're sweating. Simple, fast and impossible to ignore.
Available now for testing. Full launch June 2025.
F*CK IT
🔥 7 DAY
"Your excuses are boring everyone."
4
Workouts
3h
Suffered
1,840
Cal
BEGINNER BLAST
▶ START — IF YOU DARE
READY TO STOP MAKING EXCUSES?
The app is live and ready for testing. Get in, suffer a bit, tell us what you think.
THE STORY
Why we built the app that swears at you
Where it started
SICK OF THE FLUFF.
Every fitness app says the same thing. "You're doing amazing." "Here's your gold star." "Celebrate this small win!" And people keep downloading them, using them for two weeks, and going straight back to the sofa.
Because here's the truth nobody in the fitness industry wants to say: most people don't need encouragement. They need a kick up the arse.
They know they should exercise. They know their excuses are rubbish. They just need someone to call them on it — loudly, repeatedly, and without any of the fluffy nonsense.
That's F*CK IT Fitness.
"Every other fitness app tells you you're amazing. We tell you the truth."
Built by a martial arts instructor, massage therapist and fitness professional who got tired of watching people make the same excuses year after year.
The F*CK IT philosophy is simple: your body can handle it. Your excuses can't. Stop waiting for the perfect time. Stop telling yourself you'll start Monday.
Just move. Right now. It doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to happen.
What we stand for
THE F*CK IT RULES
01
HONESTY OVER COMFORT
We will tell you when you're slacking. We will call out half reps. We will mention that your gran moves faster. Because that's what actually gets results.
02
NO EQUIPMENT. NO EXCUSES.
Every session can be done in your living room, garden, hotel room or car park. If you've got a body and floor space, you've got everything you need.
03
RESULTS OR NOTHING
We don't care how you feel about exercise. We care about results. Show up, do the work, and watch what happens when you stop making excuses.
04
IT'S SUPPOSED TO HURT
Not dangerously. But uncomfortably. That burning feeling is your body changing. The voice in your head saying "stop" is a liar. Keep going.
Based in Edinburgh, Scotland. Stuart has spent years watching people make excuses about their fitness — and even longer helping them stop. As a qualified massage therapist, ITF Taekwondo instructor, and fitness professional, he built F*CK IT Fitness because the world needed one honest fitness app. This is it.
ENOUGH READING. GO TRAIN.
You've been on this page long enough. That counts as your warm-up.
THE FEATURES
Everything you need. Nothing you don't.
01
BRUTAL WORKOUTS
27 HIIT sessions across three levels and three durations. All bodyweight. All brutal. All doable anywhere with zero equipment. No excuses.
Beginner, Intermediate and Advanced levels
15, 30 and 35 minute sessions
Zero equipment required
Video-guided sessions via YouTube
New sessions added regularly
🟢
BEGINNER
9
Sessions
Haven't exercised since school. That's fine. We'll fix that.
15 MIN30 MIN35 MIN
🟠
INTER
9
Sessions
Fairly active. Think you can handle it. Let's find out.
15 MIN30 MIN35 MIN
🔴
ADVANCED
9
Sessions
You train regularly. Good. We'll still break you.
15 MIN30 MIN35 MIN
02
SCOTTISH DRILL SERGEANT
A real-sounding Scottish drill sergeant who fires abuse at you mid-exercise and absolutely refuses to accept half-arsed effort.
Fires mid-exercise every 12 seconds
Different lines for every exercise
Rest timer abuse — no comfort here
Full no-holds-barred Scottish vocabulary
"I've seen pensioners move faster. My dead gran could do better. PICK IT UP."
During burpees
"Away and get tae f*ck with those half reps, ya tube. ALL THE WAY DOWN."
During push-ups
"Stop gasping like a dying fish. You're not dying. You just wish you were."
Rest timer
"You did NOT drag yourself here to half-arse it. Full effort. What are you saving it for?!"
Mid-workout
03
TRACK YOUR SUFFERING
Watch yourself get less terrible over time. Progress is the only thing that shuts up the voice in your head that says "what's the point."
Daily streak counter
Workout diary with notes
Calories burned per session
Weekly stats overview
Share your completion cards on social
🔥
STREAK TRACKING
Don't break the chain. We'll remind you if you do.
📖
WORKOUT DIARY
Log sessions. Read them back. Cringe. Improve.
📤
SHARE CARDS
Post your completion card. Let everyone know you didn't quit.
🥩
NUTRITION GUIDE
Eat like a human being. We explain how. Brutally.
SEEN ENOUGH? GO TRY IT.
The app is live and free to test.
TRY THE APP
Free to test. No signup. No excuses.
Beta access
IT'S LIVE. GO TRY IT.
The app is available right now for testing. No account needed. No payment. Just open it, pick a session and find out what the abuse is about.
Work in progress. Video content is being filmed and will be added shortly. The voice coach, workouts, diary and all core features are fully working.
F*CK IT
🔥 7 DAY
"Your excuses are boring everyone."
4
Workouts
3h
Suffered
1,840
Cal
BEGINNER BLAST
▶ START — IF YOU DARE
How to use it
THREE STEPS. NO EXCUSES.
1
OPEN THE APP
Tap the button above. Opens in your browser — no download needed. Works on iPhone, Android and desktop.
2
PICK YOUR LEVEL
Choose Beginner, Intermediate or Advanced. Pick a session length. Be honest about your level. The app will know if you're lying.
3
SUFFER PRODUCTIVELY
Work through the session. The voice coach fires mid-exercise. Don't skip reps. Don't moan. The drill sergeant can hear you.
4
ADD TO HOME SCREEN
iPhone: Share → Add to Home Screen. Android: Menu → Add to Home Screen. Installs like a proper app — full screen, no browser bar.
Questions
YOU PROBABLY HAVE QUESTIONS.
IS IT ACTUALLY FREE?
Yes. The beta is completely free. When we launch in June 2025 there will be a subscription option (£3.99/month or £29.99/year) that unlocks the full video library and voice coach. The basic version will always be free.
DO I NEED TO DOWNLOAD ANYTHING?
No. It runs entirely in your browser. Add it to your home screen for a native app feel, but there's nothing to download from an app store.
WHY CAN'T I HEAR THE VOICE COACH?
The voice coach needs an ElevenLabs API key for full quality. Set this up free in the Profile section of the app. Without it, your device's built-in voice is used. Full voice coach included in the subscription at launch.
WHERE ARE THE WORKOUT VIDEOS?
Being filmed right now. All 27 sessions will be added as YouTube links before launch. The exercises and voice coach work perfectly now — videos are the cherry on top.
IS THIS SUITABLE FOR COMPLETE BEGINNERS?
Yes. The Beginner level is genuinely beginner-friendly. Bodyweight only, no equipment, clear instructions. The abuse is there but it's more funny than aggressive. We want to push everyone harder, not put anyone off.